22/11/2019 Communication Science news and articles

Congrats on being phubbed!

Phubbing is something we experience a lot in current society. Medium elaborates the negative consequences and gives you also advices how to stop phubbing.

It usually starts like this: I arrange a brunch appointment with one of my girl friends who I haven’t seen in a while. We finally meet at this picturesque cafe, having a nice conversation (or so I thought) until her phone vibrates and she whips it out to start texting someone. Thoughts like “Am I being boring?”, “Why is she texting in the middle of our conversation?”, “Argh, I dislike situations like this. What am I supposed to do? Look at her? The food? My phone? Help?!” go through my mind. Well, I just got phubbed and even experience it almost on a daily basis, and I’m sure I’m not going through this alone.

What is phubbing?

Phubbing is the act of snubbing someone that you are talking to, in order to look at your mobile phone. Even though it may seem like a harmless, albeit annoying, part of life, studies have found that phubbing can actually hurt your relationships. Yet, isn’t it ironic how phubbing is meant to connect people with someone else through social media platforms or via text?

Feeling less connected

Previous research has found that phubbing makes face-to-face interactions seem less meaningful. Chotpitayasunondh and Douglas from the University of Kent found that participants who were phubbed while viewing a 3D animation of a simulated conversation expressed more negative feelings about the interaction than participants who were not phubbed. Another study by Abeele, Antheunis, Schouten found that people who texted during a conversation were perceived to be less polite and attentive, and also caused perceptions of having a lower quality of conversation.

Phubbing was found to threaten levels of belongingness, self-esteem, meaningful existence, and control.

Impacting your mental health

In one study, phubbing was found to threaten levels of belongingness, self-esteem, meaningful existence, and control. This makes people who are being phubbed feel excluded and ostracised. Considering how this happens so often and at such an alarming rate, this can cause dire consequences to the phubbed.

Another research found that when spouses phub each other, they are more inclined to experience a lower marital satisfaction and depression. According to Emma Seppälä, a psychologist at Stanford and Yale universities and author of The Happiness Track, the reason for this could be because your partner is prioritising something else over you in the moments of togetherness.

Phubbing affects the phubber too

In the previous paragraphs, I’ve been talking about how the act of phubbing can affect the people around you. But do you know that by phubbing, the phubber can be affected too? Researchers Dunn and Dwyer from the University of British Columbia, found that people who used their phones while eating with their loved ones reported enjoying their meals less, felt more distracted, and were less engaged than their counterparts who did not use technology at the dining table. Phubbing could also bring harm to your reputation. “Phone users are generally seen as less polite and attentive—and as poorer conversationalists,” Seppälä explained.

Feeling the social impulse to phub? Turn it into a game!

How you can stop phubbing

If you are guilty of phubbing your loved ones often, it’s not too late to make a change! You can start by taking small steps to slowly curb your phubbing impulse. A way to do that is to put your phone away when you are having your dinner. Out of sight, out of mind, right? You can also meditate in order to help retain your attentional capacity.

Feeling the social impulse to phub? Turn it into a game! My friends and I would sometimes stack our phones on top of each other and put it at the corner of the table. The person who first reaches out to the stack to receive his or her phone owes the rest of the table some money as a penalty. This helps to ensure that the entire group has a good quality conversation without technology getting in the way. I found this the most helpful, especially when I want to catch up with my friends after being away from home for months.

How you can ask your friends to stop phubbing

If you are the one being phubbed, like I am, there are ways we can help our friends to stop phubbing. Firstly, we need to acknowledge that phubbers are not intentionally trying to exclude you, so you should not take offense in that. It is important, however, to take the opportunity to explain to your phubber friend how this makes you feel. It can seem like a very scary thing to do and I myself try to avoid conflicts at all costs, but by being this open to your friend, it will help them realise how much this behaviour bothers you. If you would like to go the more explicit route, the Stop Phubbing campaign website has a really nice phubbing intervention template that you can use to devise your message and send to your friend.

Whether you are the phubber or the phubbed, it is important to acknowledge the consequences of a seemingly harmless behaviour. After all, phubbing has been labelled by etiquette advisers as the ‘end of civilisation’.

Cover: rawpixel.com / Final editor: Fabian Bais



Related Posts

Het drama van Den Bosch



Racisme in het voetbal gebeurt helaas steeds vaker. Dit keer was het raak in Den Bosch, waar Ahmad Mendes Moreira racistisch werd bejegend.

Klaus – A Christmas Review



Our edictor Jade reviews a nostalgic, new Christmas classic from Hollywood: Klaus!

Queer Eye: We’re in Japan!: How Netflix’s Makeover Show (Respectfully) Dived into Japanese society



The gays are back! Queer Eye’s Fab 5 is a team of five gay men with individual specialities (fashion, culture, food & wine, grooming, and design) who do makeovers on nominees’ outer and inner struggles.

Last Christmas schiet zijn doel voorbij



Redacteur Loïs ging naar de bioscoop op zoek naar een nieuwe lievelingsfilm. Maar Last Christmas was in ieder geval de laatste keer dat ze die film in de bioscoop zag.

KSI versus Logan Paul: How mainstream media finally embraced YouTubers



KSI and Logan Paul invaded the mainstream media with their sold out YouTube boxing event. But how did they do it? Medium explains it for you!

Parasocial relationships and fictional loyalty: How’s that actors and characters are not the same person (but people don’t get it)



Have you ever felt as if the person who got you best wasn’t your best friend, or one of your family members, but rather your favorite actor, singer or movie character? Has it ever happened to you? Yeah, I thought so. But don’t worry, you’re not the only one. 

TEDxUniversiteit van Amsterdam: Seven different quests for the truth

14/11/2019 and


On the evening of Monday 4th of November, Medium was part of the crowd that listened to seven speakers on the theme: "In the search of truth". In this event, seven speakers presented their views on what they consider part of the truth.

Slow fashion: De oplossing voor een duurzame wereld?



De kledingindustrie is een erg vervuilende industrie. De vraag is of slow fashion dit probleem kan verhelpen. Medium zoekt het voor je uit!

Free Press Live 2019: All the nominees and winners for most ground-breaking journalists

11/11/2019 and


Medium went to the Free Press Live event where journalists received awards for their effort to present unbiased news about sensitive topics as war scandals.

Warriors for Peace: A Documentary Review



Ada reviews the documentary Les Guerrières de la Paix, which gives an insight into the Women Wage Peace movement in Israel.

XIII: Kalvijn bewijst het onmogelijke



Fabian was aanwezig bij de première van Kalvijns bioscoopexperiment XIII. De hoofdvraag op dit influencer-fest: kun je een film maken in 24 uur?

ADNIGHT 2019: A truly mad world!



Our editor Menahil went to ADNIGHT and visited the agencies Accenture, Kult and Ace and Ogilvy.

Medium Podcast #7 – Let’s talk about nudes



Two aspiring communication scientists, a few cans of beer and some Bacardi breezers. It was King’s Night when Kajsa and...

Film Pride: How Northern Ireland and Singapore Handles Fame



Angela went along on the study trip to Dublin and Belfast. How do the cities cope with their fame achieved from series and movies?

Ierland is een feniks die zal herrijzen uit de as



De een kan niet een heel land bereiken en de ander heeft een te oubollig marketing beleid. Twee bedrijven die voor hun eigen uitdagingen staan.


www.eskisehirescort.asia | www.escortantalyali.com | www.mersindugun.com