How Toxic People Around Us Affect Us

By Ezgi Keeskin

April 12, 2021

Have you ever felt exhausted and not good enough because of a relationship or a friendship? If you have, that is probably because your relationship or friendship is toxic.

We all know what toxic means and we all know that it is not a good thing. Then, why do we keep ourselves exposed to these kinds of relationships? I asked this question to myself many times, but I realized it seems hard to realize the toxicity of your relationship when you are in it. As a person who experiences toxic people, I will now tell you how you can understand whether a person is toxic or not.

How Can You Detect a Toxic Person?

According to Wander Dolls, toxic people always see the world from their perspective. They don’t empathize and don’t try to look at the world from your perspective. They only want to talk to you when they have a benefit gained from you, or when they need you. They don’t actually care about what you feel, they already set up opinions about you in their minds.

They blame you, even for their own faults. This is a serious threat to your self-esteem and confidence. When you keep getting blamed, you also start to feel not good enough for anything. You blame yourself even for others’ fault, and this leads to disapprobation and ungratefulness.

They can be easily jealous or controlling. This can be a romantic relationship or a friendship. They can get jealous of you, or they can try to control you. This makes you feel as if you are dependent on someone in your decisions, life choices.

You start to see yourself as a sub-character in your life and see them as the main character who determines your life.

How These People Affect You and your Mental Health

Now, you have a brief idea about how you can understand the toxic people around you. However, there is something more important that should be considered: How do these people affect your psychology? These people can affect you so badly that it can even lead to depression and other mental cases.

Firstly, you feel drained and tired. Imagine yourself as a balloon, and these people are the ones who explode the air inside you. You feel tired, non-energetic most of the time. Even on a happy day, you have challenges to feel happy since you are reminded by them deep down. You may feel as if you are stuck with them for the rest of your life, or you may not find the courage to cut your relationship with them.

This leads to a pessimistic perspective and makes people depressed. This depressive mood seems to be the only mood that will dominate them. You can develop depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Think of someone who reminds you that you’re not good enough, you are not trustworthy, and worthless. This makes you question yourself at some point. You feel low self-esteem, and lose your confidence in yourself.

Starting New Beginnings

The one thing that shouldn’t be forgotten is that there is always a second route, a second choice that you can make. You may feel depressed, you may think that you are stuck with them, and might be in a down mood, but this is because they make you feel this way. This sadness and low mood won’t be with you for the rest of your life. If you detect a toxic person around you, take that person out of your life. It won’t be as hard as it seems. If this is a person that you care about, you may feel sad and broken at first, but no emotion lasts forever. As an individual, you are more important than the toxic person you let into your life.