By Marlene Lile Tränkner
Babygirl is not another office love story – a fact that becomes evident very early into the movie. The story outlines the highly successful Romy (Nicole Kidman), CEO of a robot’s company, beginning an affair with one of her much younger interns, Samuel (Harris Dickinson). Within their relationship Romy embarks to explore her sexual fantasies around submission and BDSM, as her otherwise happy marriage with her husband Jacob (Antonio Banderas) does not seem to leave space for these desires. In a state of desperation, she meets Samuel, who recognizes her needs and after a few flirtatious moments, literally takes control of the situation. While initially hesitant, Romy slowly gives in to her true fantasies of domination and submission. The connection between Romy and Samuel is never portrayed as love, but rather a journey of female pleasure and sexual experimentation.
With Babygirl, feminism reaches a new arena of discussion. Romy is a figure of female empowerment in her workplace, yet simultaneously desires to be dominated seems to pose a conflict of ideologies. Watching Romy on all fours eating out of Samuels hand can be uncomfortable to watch, and is testing the boundaries of mainstream feminism.The continuous comparison of the dynamic between Romy and Samuel to one of a dog and its owner, who commands her to sit, eat or drink, appears degrading and seemingly negates almost every standpoint of female emancipation.
Yet, in other social interactions, it shows that her sexual fantasies of domination never translate into an actual want of male domination in society. Romy defends her position as CEO and positions herself as head of the family, establishing a clear differentiation between domination in sexuality and society. This highlights that women wanting to be led in sexual situations does not insinuate women wanting men controlling them in society.
Her deep longings raise another interesting question of how that desire came about, whether it is innate or a result of the patriarchal system. The latter would entail that growing up in a patriarchy, women desire domination by their male counterpart, solely because they grew up with this representation of gender dynamics. This question is almost impossible to answer, since behaviors arise from a mixture of biological, psychological and sociological influences. But what it ultimately boils down to, is that if a woman consciously consents to submission in her sexuality, even seeks it out, it does not undermine her overall societal stand.
While the relationship between Romy and Samuel is the central subject of this story, her relation to her husband is arguably equally interesting, if not maybe even the primary relation to have a look at. It is her husband who is not only leaving her desires unanswered but is actively renouncing them.
In a moment of despair Romy voices her sexual preferences to Jacob, only he declares her desires to be a product of male socialization, ascribing them a bad connotation. Considerate, one might think, however, with this her husband anticipates her needs and even decides on the appropriateness of her desires, leaving her feeling shamed and yet again, unsatisfied. The debate that arises from this interaction, is the neglect and even shame of female pleasure. The shame created around her fantasies becomes so blatant when Romy fully opens up to Jacob and describes her preferences as dark thoughts, which she attempted to suppress for all of their marriage.
This emphasizes how greatly overlooked female pleasure can be, which in Romy’s case resulted in an absence of orgasms in her marriage of 19 years. Her suppressed desires leave her restless and almost become demons haunting her throughout her day. The disregard of her sexual fantasies feels almost like a shunning of parts of her persona. Babygirl is a “cautionary tale of what happens when you deny that you have a darker side within you”, as the writer and producer Halina Reijn puts it in an interview.
While a few moments in the movie can feel a bit bumpy, it ultimately addresses delicate social dynamics around the topic of sexuality, while delivering a very compelling story. Babygirl is an intriguing movie of lust, love and liberation, and cracks the door further open for a discussion, around the question, of what women want.
